This is a discouraging booklet. We are sorry to bring you bad news, but we understand knowledge is important.
Although we have not yet found solutions to these egregious problems, some progress has been made.
There are groups all over California working on changing policies, procedures, laws and court practices that place children with abusers.
People made the system; people can and will change it.
We do not know exactly how this problem came to be. There are many ideas:
These are all merely hypotheses. The fact is, we do not know why this is happening.
- Some mothers believe that courts are gender-bias against women due to centuries of societal training.
- Some believe that family court judges are misogynists (hate women).
- Some believe this results from the Fathers' Rights movement to restore the patriarchy.
- Some believe it is arrogance and a lust for power, coupled with a lack of moral foundation.
- Some think that financial payoffs are the key.
- Some see cronyism as the reason.
- Some believe that power corrupts, and absolute judicial power corrupts absolutely.
- Some think that lack of quality control is the issue.
- Some see that a lack of citizen oversight is the problem.
- Some suggest judges who have gone through painful divorces are taking revenge.
- Some have found that judges in their cases are perpetrators of family violence.
- Some suggest that pedophile rings are behind the placement of children with molesters.
- Some liken it to the Lebensborn policy in Germany, in which children were placed with brutal Gestapo in order to raise the next generation of SS troops.
What can you do to make the system work better?
First, realize that the system is currently working quite well…for the perpetrators.
Remember that your first job is to protect and help your child. Try not to do anything that would harm your child if you decide to become an activist. Here are a few actions to consider:
- Most of the mothers who call us are people of faith. If you are, pray every day for the captive children, and have your church pray without ceasing.
- Ask your faith community's social concerns ministry to begin a court watch and advocacy program.
- Write to your local newspaper. Describe your case, but say it's a friend's case. Do not send names or pictures.
- Join with other mothers in your area and meet twice a month for support and strategies.
- Go to www.canow.org and complete the CA NOW survey for protective mothers.
- Write a clear one-page summary of your case.
- Take the summary to your State Assemblymember, State Senator, the Governor, and your U.S. Congressman. Ask for appointments with their aides.
- Find funding and contact reporter Karen Winner at email@example.com to investigate your county's situation.
- Picket the courthouse once a week, handing out factual flyers, including some of the outrageous quotes from judges and other court personnel. Wear a disguise if you need to. You will find other mothers in the same situation. Go to www.nationalcoalition.net for information on how this was done successfully in San Jose CA.
- Begin a recall of a problematic judge. You need a huge number of signatures to succeed, but you will embarrass the judge and sometimes reforms will occur.
- Find a good lawyer to run against the judge in the next election.
- Do the same for the District Attorney if the DA refuses to prosecute child abuse cases.
- Network with other protective mothers in the state.
- Develop media packets and contact your local media regarding lack of child protection.
- Write letters to the legislature and Governor asking for citizen oversight of the judiciary.
- Find a tort attorney and begin a civil suit against the perpetrator on behalf of his victim.
- Join with others and begin a Federal law suit against the court system for racketeering (RICO suit).
We urge you to find out more about the problem, and become part of the solution.
You can educate yourself further by visiting your local courthouse, listening to open hearings, and finding, contacting and talking to other protective parents.
There are several good books on the subject and you can find more information on the Internet. Visit our referral links to start.
You are not expected to complete the task.
Neither are you permitted to lay it down."
OUR STRONGEST STRATEGY-
We have found that a majority of the mothers who have contacted Mothers of Lost Children are Christian. We ask each mother to begin to pray for the deliverance of all captive children.
The efficacy of prayer is concretely demonstrated in a book by Larry Dossey, titled Healing Words. He writes that there is a statistically significant improvement in bacteria, fungus, cells, plants and people who are prayed for, when compared with a control group which is not prayed for. There were several hundred rigorously scientific, double blind studies referenced, with the same positive outcomes. The most effective prayers seemed simply to be those which prayed for the best possible outcome for the plant or living being which was being prayed for.
Miracles occur through prayer. These miracles do not occur in the way and time that we might like, but they will happen in God's perfect timing. Our part is to continue to pray constantly, even when our beloved children seem lost, and to thank Him in advance for their complete safety and healing.
Prayer is an effective moral force in a starkly immoral world.
O Lord, how long must I call for help before you will listen? I shout to you in vain; there is no answer. 'Help! Murder!' I cry, but no one comes to save. Must I forever see this sin and sadness all around me? Wherever I look there is oppression and bribery and men who love to argue and to fight. The law is not enforced and there is no justice given in the courts, for the wicked far outnumber the righteous, and bribes and trickery prevail.
Habakkuk 1: 2-4
God stands up to open heaven's court. He pronounces judgment on the judges. How long will you judges refused to listen to the evidence? How long will you will you shower special favors on the wicked? Give fair judgment to the poor man, the afflicted, the fatherless, the destitute. Rescue the poor and needy from the grasp of evil men. But you are so foolish and so ignorant! Because you are in darkness, all the foundations of society are shaken to the core.
Psalm 82 1-5
Dear Christian Faith Community,
As many of you are aware, the effort to protect children is a spiritual battle, in addition to a physical one. We want to share with you a prayer that has been helpful for some of us. It is based on Christ's ministry of casting out demons.
If you begin to pray in this manner, we suggest you continue faithfully every day. You will be confronting great wickedness, and need to always keep a shield of faith to prevent the enemy from attacking even more strongly.
---Mothers of Lost Children
Dear Loving Heavenly Father,
I humbly come before Thee in prayer, and ask that Thou will send Thy Holy Spirit to guard, guide, comfort and protect me; help me to be stronger, wiser, and allow my mouth to speak Thy words in all my dealings.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I command Satan and all demons, to be bound and rebuked in every level, aspect, and split off part and alter personality of ____________________, and of all captive children, victims, survivors, protective parents, helpers, and perpetrators of abuse.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I smash, break and destroy all spells, curses, and strongholds; I cast out all evil spirits and command them to depart to wherever Jesus Christ wills them to go.
I pray that Thou will act swiftly and without delay, to set the captive children free and bring them into safety.
I ask the Lord Jesus Christ to cover and seal each of us with a Holy canopy of protection, and fill us with His loving kindness.
Thy Holy Will be done. I offer this prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
"God loves all of us as if there were only one of us."
- St. Augustine