THE DANGERS & ENTRAPMENTS OF THE CALIFORNIA FAMILY COURT SYSTEMHello: I wish to add a story to your site about the dangers and entrapments of the california family court system if it can be called that.
I did naiively have full trust that truth would come out and that I would easily retain custody of my beautiful, healthy, intelligent wonderful child, against my aging, bitter, alcoholic, documentedly abusive father of all people.
I am 36 years old and he is still finding ways to abuse me, just as he abused my mother for so many years, then divorced her and took us away from her, and just as he abused my brother and myself as soon as he had full custody and my mother could do nothing. I cant believe hes doing it to another generation as well. i dont even know if it will end with his death, which i am starting to wish for rather ardently. the only reason i dont want that, is that i dont know where she would go if that occurred... i know he put it in his will that she must not go to me, just becuase he will do anything to see me unhappy, the bastard.
I thought my child was safe, I thought there was no way he could inflict his will upon her, but he is blatantly continuing the cycle of abuse with my daughter and I cannot believe that he is not being stopped, but the court system is laying out the red carpet for him all the way.
He is an abuser in the truest sense of the word, and he uses the court system to hurt and control anytime he feels like it. Hes got all the money in the world, and he knows that nothing on this earth will hurt a woman more than taking her precious baby and leaving her with nothing but shame and grief and the knowlege that he is brainwashing that child against you for all he is worth all day and every day. In addition of course Im also now penniless and this is nowhere near over. That definitely doesnt make things any easier for me in life. but then thats not his goal to make things pleasant for me, is it?
It's definitely all about money, power and control.. and catch-22... He says to the court that becuase of my disorders and disability, which are completely treated and controlled at great personal effort, I cannot be an appropriate parent; yet, these disorders manifested directly as a result of *his* abuse of me as a child! So how does it follow that this child would be safer in *his* care than with myself, who has been evaluated by many professionals as a caring and devoted parent? And yet this is exactly what has happened.
In a hearing that mystified both my attorney and the professional custody evaluator who worked with and evaluated me at some length and also for free, my nazi father was awarded sole custody, with not even visitiation specified for me the natural mother of this child. He was given total control, and i was given nothing. My attorney was so stunned by the unfairness of the verdict, and the apparent bias of the judge, that he actually wondered aloud if someone had 'paid the judge'. Those were his words. he has ordered the transcript in order to attempt an appeal. that is why im doing research now on the net.
So, despite extensive evaluations from professionals, statements from doctors and teachers and friends, and all evidence to the contrary, our evidence was barely allowed to be heard, and my father was believed over me at every turn; the judge gave them total leeway and cut us off almost every time... completely dismissing all of our multitudes of proof about my health and parenting skills, she opined in complete obedience to my fathers lawyer, that i could never be trusted to be a good parent in the future becuase of my past history of 'mental illness'... the very mental illness that he caused me to have by growing up in his sick disgusting perverted home in the first place, and that ive struggled all my life to recover from.
And yet, *his* history and previous actions, including serious physical emotional abuse and long term alcoholism that continues to this day, were not taken into account in the least as an indicator of *his* parenting ability or future failure. This logic completely eludes me.
So despite the fact that i spent every scrap of my savings and actually managed to get an attorney, and even an expert custody evalutor to both testify that I was a competent and excellent parent, my father simply pointed to my post traumatic stress disorder symptoms (the ones that they caused me to have) and had me declared unfit in no time flat. It was no matter that my dad is a documented alcoholic and abuser for thirty years ago, and that his home environment was exactly what caused my sickness. He now has total legal control over my baby and I dont even have visitation scheduled. Its like the worst nightmare that i have ever had. reading these stories, I get the picture a little better. I shiver to think what may happen to her there. its good to know im not alone. I did not want to live yesterday, but today i want to change this and find some way to stand up for my rights and my daughters rights. There has to be a way.
Im a 36 year old woman that lost custody of her 9 year old daughter yesterday. Who has her? Why, my own physically and emotionally abusive father. I am thirty six, and not only is he still abusing me through the courts and with his money and influence, but he is succeeding in trapping the next generation as well, by discrediting me, using the very symptoms that i have due to his abuse of me in the first place.... the catch-22 is almost too much to bear.
Thats my crazy story of the los angeles court system and how it completely failed to protect my parental rights in any way whatsoever, and delivered my child directly to an abuser with no questions asked. My attorney and this custody evaluator, despite having run up thousands of dollars in bills, are continuing to work for me pro bono because they are so incensed by the unfairness of the case. I can only pray that they see fit to keep donating time, and we can somehow appeal this and get my daughter back. i dont want to think of what will happen if i dont. i dont want to think of what shes going thru right now.
Thanks for your time and its so good to know im not alone with this. something very wrong is happening and some of us will be pissed off enough to change it. That person may be me very soon. Thanks for being there. I hope that i can help you too if the need comes and i have the skills to offer and an arm to wield the sword. sometimes its time to fight and this i think is one of those times.
I think that I will be praying for a lot of people tonight.
peace... and strength....
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